Seriously!
by abstractular
Summary: “Nice? I look amazing! I look awesome! Men everywhere would totally want to sleep with me tonight! Hordes of men could be at my disposal!” A mix of Grey's anatomy and Naruto. Rated T to be safe. Sasu/Saku hinted. Naru/Saku friendship


Sakura was pissed

A/N: For my Naruto…I know this is totally an abso-friggin-lutely late birthday present…but we'll just call it fashionably late and have that be that.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or Grey's Anatomy for that matter. Which is where some of this dialogue and most of this idea came from.**

…

…

Sakura was pissed.

Even that was a bit of an understatement.

Sakura was channeling Satan…yes, that seemed more fitting in Sasuke's eyes as he followed her through the front door of her house. She stormed into the walkway, her cheeks flushed nearly as pink as her hair, and she threw her purse on the coffee table next to the door before turning on him, rage showing brightly in her eyes.

"Well," She got out through gritted teeth. "I had a great time. Thank you, for the _fantastic _evening. It was totally the best night of my life. Really."

"Sakura-"

"Oh!" She laughed brightly. "And I especially liked the fact that you treated me like _crap_ the entire time. Oh yeah, that was such fun."

Sasuke sighed through his nose, his hand coming up to rake through dark hair as he rolled his eyes.

"Sakura-"

"I mean I knew that you had some issues with your social life, and how to act with others…but really Sasuke…you sure do know how to treat a lady to a good time."

"_Sakura_."

Her jaw snapped shut as she let him speak, and her arms folded over her chest. The Uchiha heir wet his lips before forcing out his reply.

"I had…a good time."

It was amazing, Sasuke thought, the stupidest sentence could make a woman feel better. Suddenly Sakura's green eyes softened and she bit her lip before asking in a small voice:

"Really?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Hn."

A brilliant smile lit up her face, and she took a small step forward, her face slowly advancing towards his. It was when her eyes started to slide shut that he realized what exactly she was doing. Like the crack of a whip, he stepped back from her and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I have to go."

Her eyes shot open, and her face fell. "What?!"

"I have to go." He repeated.

"B-but…" Her mind frantically searched for something to say that could keep him where he stood, but the only thing that managed to come up was the most desperate sounding sentence known to mankind. "Don't you want to come up?"

Sasuke's eyes widened a fraction, and he cleared his throat. "No. No. I have to get up early and…no."

Just like that, he turned his back to her and walked out the open door.

The medic stood there, dumbstruck, watching his retreating back before her hands clenched into fists and her lips became a thin line.

"Seriously?!" She hollered. "_Seriously_!"

With a growl of utter frustration, she kicked off her heels and bounded up the stairs as quickly as her short satin dress would allow.

…

…

"Seriously!"

Her finger flicked on the light in a quick jerk, and she scowled at the blonde man that was sprawled out on the bed. His face was buried in the now flat pillow. The pale green sheets were thrown around him, but then again that was Naruto, he always moved around in his sleep. She considered letting him rest, he did just get him from a three-week mission this morning.

Ah, hell, what are friends for if not to vent to an hour before midnight? Besides, he should know by now that best friends come before sleep. It's like, a golden rule that's inside the best friend handbook.

"Naruto!" She huffed, making her voice loud enough to carry all through his small bedroom, and down the hallway.

The ANBU's ruffled head snapped up and he groaned and rolled onto his side to stare at her. His blue gaze was puffy and a little cross-eyed.

"I 'as s'eepin." He grunted.

"Oh shut up."

Sakura trod over to the twin sized bed and pushed him until he moaned and moved over to make room for her. Knowing Sakura, he realized that sleep was now in a far off land, and he wouldn't be able to greet it for at least two more hours. No doubt, noting the green dress she had on, this was about Sasuke.

"What happened?" He yawned.

"Your best friend is a friggin retard. That's what happened."

Naruto couldn't hold back the lazy grin that spread on his face. "Wow. Congratulations Sakura-chan. Eight years of hanging out with him and you finally caught on."

She shook her head and rolled onto her side so that they were facing each other. "Look at me Naruto. I'm pretty right? I mean…like, right now. I look pretty don't I?"

He glanced over her as the heel of his hand rubbed his eye. "Yeah, you look nice."

Sakura scoffed. "Nice? I look amazing! I look awesome! Men everywhere would totally want to sleep with me tonight! Hordes of men could be at my disposal!"

"Would I happen to be one of these men? Because I am so all over that idea."

She frowned and slapped his shoulder. "Shut up Naruto."

Before he could reply, they heard the front door slam downstairs, and their other roommate's voice echoed in a shrill tone.

"I don't want to have this conversation anymore!"

"Ino-"

Sakura and Naruto looked at each other before carefully listening. Ino and Shikamaru have been having erm…relationship issues for a while. Ino wanted to be in one…and Shikamaru was already taken. Kind of.

"No, Shikamaru, you didn't break up with her. You just didn't. I get it. I understand now."

"Ino-"

"WHAT?!"

There was a pause, and then a nervous cough.

"Oh," The lazy genius replied. "Normally I just say 'Ino' and you yell at me a lot…I hadn't actually thought past that point."

Naruto winced, and Sakura rolled her eyes.

A thump filled the air as Shikamaru grunted.

"Ow! Ow! Ino! Ino Stop it! That hurts!"

"SERIOUSLY?! SERIOUSLY?"

The front door slammed, and Naruto pushed Sakura to scoot over to the end of the bed so he was in the middle. After having two female roommates (who happened to be kunoichi who could kill you in seventeen different ways without using their hands) you learn how to deal with situations like this. Like clockwork, stomps came up the stairs, and his bedroom door swung open.

If he thought Sakura was frightening when pissed off…Ino was ten times worse.

"Seriously?!" She shrieked. "Freaking _seriously_?"

The bleach blonde huffed out a low scream before marching to the other side of the bed and flopping down next to Naruto. The future hokage turned to lie on his back and stare at the ceiling, thinking only one thing.

_Let the raving begin._

"He's a genius!" Ino threw her hand over her eyes.

"I look fantastic." Sakura sat up on her elbows and looked down at the two blondes. "I shaved my legs!"

Ino copied her best friend's pose. "He's a genius! How can he be so stupid?"

Sakura flopped down. "Seriously!"

"Seriously!"

Naruto sighed, his eyes falling closed as he lifted his hands to pat each of their shoulders.

"Shhh…it's okay."

"It is not!" Ino kicked her legs. "What the hell is wrong with the male species?"

"Speaking on behalf of my gender…not all of us are retards…sometimes we just need a big hint."

"Naruto. I shaved my legs. I said the words 'don't you want to come up'. How much more did he need?"

Naruto looked over at her, face in pure and utter disbelief. "You…you asked if he wanted to come up…and he said?"

"HE SAID NO!!"

…

…

Sasuke opened up his front door only to be greeted with knuckles firmly slamming against his right eye and sending him reeling backwards.

"What the hell, you ass?!"

Naruto barged into Sasuke's tiny apartment and glared at him.

"You…are a freaking moron."

The Uchiha raised a brow, and crossed his arms. "You better explain yourself, idiot."

"Me explain myself?" He laughed. "How about you explain the reason I didn't get a wink of sleep last night, because I was taking care of an upset and pissed off Sakura, because YOU are lacking in HORMONES! What the hell man! Are you asexual or something?!"

The sharingan user sighed and gave a 'are you freaking kidding me' look to his best friend. Naruto shook his head and crossed his own arms over his chest, giving the Konoha police officer a forceful look. It made Sasuke feel like he was a child getting scolded by his father.

"Listen here, bastard." The fox vessel growled. "I don't care if it is any chick. I don't care if you were an asshole to your grandmother or to the girl who is in charge of free-soup-Saturday down the street. But you will _not _hurt Sakura-chan. Because I had to deal with that since we were fifteen. And guess what, we're twenty now dude. Meaning if I have to hold a crying medic in my arms again…you will be so, _so _dead."

Sasuke would have replied with a smart-ass remark, but it was very clear from the hardness of Naruto's eyes that he was not kidding here. But then again, Sasuke didn't think he was. Naruto was always serious about everything when it came to Sakura. It came with the territory of the best friend.

Within the blink of an eye, Naruto was giving that easy going grin of his, and laughing in Sasuke's face.

"And besides dude, she threw herself at you. Like, literally. She asked you to sleep with her, and you said no…if I spread that around, then you're gonna get a lot of guys calling you. If you get my drift."

"I'm not gay you idiot."

"Please, what other excuse could you possibly have to decline a girl as hot as her?"

Sasuke flushed and shoved his hands awkwardly in his pocket. "I don't have to answer to you."

The blonde man laughed again and turned to walk out of the Uchiha home.

"That's right, you don't. I wouldn't wanna hear your queer-eye excuses anyway. I mean damn, I even know gays that would sleep with Sakura-chan, and you…you're just like…an alien."

"Shut up."

Naruto shrugged and walked out the door, calling one last sentence over his shoulder.

"By the way, have you seen Shikamaru? I gotta talk to him about something."


End file.
